How to Love the “Unlovable”

7 Things

Seven Things to Keep in Mind When Dealing with a Difficult Person

1. Commit to forgive. If you are a child of God, forgiveness is not optional, nor is it easy. But it is beneficial. “And the peace of God, which transcendsall understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7 NIV).

2. Forgive quickly. Don’t let the hurt and anger fester or you will be in bondage, giving power to others’ negative words or actions. “If you are angry, do not let it become sin. Get over your anger before the day is finished” (Ephesians 4:6 NLV).

3. Stay in your Bible. Get a red-letter edition, and read the words of Jesus. Savor them. Let them breathe life and peace into you as you embrace the very mind of Christ. “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had” (Romans 15:5 NIV).

4. Pray for those who irritate or torment you. Nothing will help you flip the switch from anger to compassion faster than praying blessings on those you’d rather smack in the face. Take it to the Lord in prayer. “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:44 NIV).

5. Be kind. If it doesn’t come naturally to show kindness to a mean-spirited person, think in terms of killing him or her with kindness. When we practice forgiveness, we preach without words. The tone you set may even serve as a catalyst that will inspire other someone else to forgive.  “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32 NIV).

6. Remember, it’s not about you. Forgiveness is not about you and your emotional pain. It’s about God’s sacrificial love and your willingness to apply His example to your life. As a child of God, you are required to: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above [yourself], not looking to your own interests but . . . to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4 NIV).

7. Forgive in God’s strength, not your own. To forgive as far as east is from west, you’ll need divine intervention. Connect to Christ at a root level, and let Him do the work. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love” (John 15:5, 10 NIV).

Article written by Candy Abbott. Originally published in SR Forgiveness Issue 

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